The same class that motivates one child demotivates another, and it is the same mechanism doing both.
Getting this right matters more than any reward chart, because the wrong read on your own child makes everything else counterproductive.
Two kinds of child
In a group class you see it clearly. A student who is struggling sees another doing really well, and for some children that is motivating: they want to get there, and the proof that it is possible is sitting next to them.
For a child who does not like to compete, the identical situation does the opposite. Seeing someone ahead of them in ability is a demotivating factor. They do not read it as a target, they read it as a verdict.
So competition is not good or bad for 11+ children. It is a tool that helps one child and harms another, and the whole question is which you have.
Working out which one you have
You do not need a theory, you need to watch. Signs a child is competition-motivated:
- They ask what other people got, and seem energised by the answer.
- A near miss makes them want to go again.
- They set their own targets, unprompted.
Signs they are not:
- They avoid asking, or go quiet when scores are discussed.
- A lower mark produces withdrawal rather than effort.
- They start saying they are no good at a subject they were fine at last month.
For the second child, remove comparison from the house entirely and measure them only against their own last score. A group class may still suit them for the teaching; what will not suit them is a league table. See our guide to group classes versus one to one.
What to reward
One rule: reward what the child controls.
| Reward this | Not this |
|---|---|
| Sitting down when they said they would | The score |
| Finishing the week's sessions | Beating another child |
| Going back over the ones they got wrong | Getting them right first time |
| Reading every day | Reading a hard book |
| Honest journal entries | Flattering journal entries |
Effort is controllable and scores are not, which is the whole reason this distinction matters. A child rewarded for scores on a hard paper learns that honesty is expensive, and from then on the journal stops being useful to anybody.
Keep the rewards small, frequent and immediate. A Friday treat for a completed week beats a bicycle promised for a grammar school place, and see below for why that promise is actively dangerous.
What backfires
- A big reward tied to passing. It converts a test into a transaction the child can lose, and it is cruel on a day they cannot control.
- Comparison with a sibling or cousin. It is the fastest way to make a child stop trying.
- Rewarding scores. It teaches them to fear the next paper.
- Removing things as punishment for a bad mark. The next bad mark then gets hidden.
- Talking about the school constantly. A child who hears about the grammar school every day is carrying your hopes as well as the work.
See our guide to managing pressure.
Morale near the test
There is one specific trap in the final weeks, and it is worth naming because it is so easy to walk into with good intentions.
A bad score in the week of the test causes real discouragement, and sometimes genuine anxiety that then arrives with them in the exam room. It is too late to fix the gap it revealed, so all it has done is damage.
So in the last week, light tests only, and ones they will mostly get right. The aim is to keep morale and motivation very high so they can do the best possible test. Then a day or two before, stop entirely and let them do something they enjoy.
Confidence is not a soft extra here. It is worth marks, and anxiety costs them. See our guide to the final week.
See where your child stands today
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The same class lifts one child and flattens another
In a one to one setting you can identify strengths and weaknesses, but the level of competitive drive is not there as it would be in a class environment. Sometimes a student who may be struggling can see a student doing really well, and that could motivate them.
And the contrary: a student who does not like to compete, who sees a student ahead of them in terms of their ability, can find that a demotivating factor. So it comes down to the child, and you have to know which one you have before you decide anything.
The other thing I would say is about timing. A bad score in a test in the week of the test can cause discouragement, or a bit of anxiety when the test actually arrives. You want to keep the morale and motivation very high so they can do the best possible test.
Mushtaque Ahmed, Founder of GrammarPath and Bright Mentors
Frequently asked questions
What motivates a child through the 11+ year?
It depends on the child. Some are motivated by seeing another child do well, because it proves the target is reachable. A child who does not like to compete reads the same thing as a verdict on themselves and is demotivated by it.
Do rewards work for the 11+?
Small, frequent, immediate rewards for things the child controls work: sitting down when they said they would, finishing the week, going back over what they got wrong. Rewarding scores does not, because scores are not fully in their control.
Should I promise a reward for passing the 11+?
No. A big reward tied to passing turns the test into a transaction the child can lose, on a day they cannot control. It also adds pressure in the exam room, where confidence is worth marks.
What destroys a child's motivation during the 11+?
Comparison with a sibling or cousin, rewarding scores rather than effort, removing privileges for a bad mark, which teaches them to hide the next one, and talking about the target school so often that the child carries your hopes alongside the work.
How do I keep morale up in the week before the test?
Light tests only, and ones they will mostly get right. A bad score that week causes real discouragement and sometimes anxiety that arrives with them in the exam room, and it is too late to fix whatever it revealed.